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Children's Divorce Counseling

Divorce counseling can be the safe haven you and your child needs.

Children’s Divorce Counseling With Courageous Kids Counseling New City, NY

Children’s divorce counseling is quite common just like divorces are common in marriage. While nobody gets into a marriage to split from their partner, for one reason or another, it may simply not work out. Naturally, divorces have a ripple effect when it comes to relationships. This means that it will not only affect you and your spouse but also the people around you. This means that if you have children, then getting a divorce becomes far more complicated.

While adults will generally understand the myriad of reasons why people may choose to get separated, it is far more difficult to process for children. For example, if your divorce involves your child switching homes or schools, then this could make them feel uprooted without reason. In any case, divorces will likely introduce a strong range of behavioral or emotional changes in your child such as resentment, self-hate, or abandonment.

This period of new and sudden feelings is crucial. As a parent, you should think of these new emotions as a fresh but small wound that your child may have received from your separation. This means that they can easily be treated if you give them the right amount of support. However, the longer it is left to fester, the higher the likelihood of these negative emotions becoming permanent, with your child carrying the burden well into their adult life.

While you may already recognize this or have even noticed these changes yourself, I understand that communicating with your child during this period can be difficult, especially as you may already be going through a difficult time. Additionally, several children become more withdrawn during the separation period, making it difficult to speak with them about their emotions.

At Courageous Kids, Counselling, New City, NY, I understand this, which is why our goal is to support parents going through a divorce by offering children’s counseling services. My aim during these sessions is to provide a safe space where your child can fully express their emotions, which allows them to heal and adjust to whatever new setting they may find themselves in.

How Does Children’s Counseling Work?

While many adults today have recognized the importance of speaking to a therapist, the importance of counseling for children is often overlooked. However, children can often find it just as difficult to go through life as an adult would. This is because, during their formative years, many things can throw them out of balance.

Events such as switching locations or losing a friend can cause great emotional or behavioral changes that would normally not affect them as an adult.

In the case of divorce, your child will be going through some strong emotions. In situations, where the separation is not smooth, it may also feel to younger children like they have lost a parent. Naturally, some children will try to mask their emotions, but you will likely notice these changes in their behavior.
This burden can be a great one to face as seeing your child lash out at your or go through a negative change, right in front of your eyes, can be painful to watch.

At Courageous Kids Counseling, New City, NY, we not only offer you support during this period, but we also deliver all the tools that your child will need to heal after your separation. By providing a safe space where your child can feel free to talk about their emotions, we can work with them to offer the guidance that they need. If you would like to learn more about our children’s divorce counseling sessions, please leave a call, I will be happy to answer any of your questions.

Erica was amazing helping us work through co-parenting issues. She was kind, patient, took her time to listen and help us come up with solution that worked for us. Highly recommend!

Julia K.
children and parents during a child counseling session in New City

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66 Pine Street,
New City, NY 10956

Children’s Divorce Counseling at Courageous Kids Counseling

The simple truth is that every child is different, and there are several ways that they may process a separation. For example, some children may begin to feel anxious while others will gain feelings of withdrawal. You must understand that these different negative emotions are natural ways to process change, but it will not be beneficial if we allow them to linger for too long.

The main goal of our session is to help your child recognize these emotions and process them. Many parents often forget that this is the first time that their child will be going through such strong emotions or feelings. However, children are not the best at communicating their feelings.

So, while you may feel that your child does not want to speak to you, in reality, they may simply have become so overwhelmed by these new emotions that they are unable to fight the right words to express themselves.

During my divorce counseling sessions, my job will be working with your child to recognize the negative emotions that have come as a result of the divorce. In turn, I will go through these emotions, one by one, replacing them with positive reinforcements. For example, if your child expresses that they feel a lack of trust after your divorce, I will help them understand that trusting others is a positive emotion.

This method is known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and it is a proven method to help address the root cause of any behavioral or psychological problems.

My Divorce Counseling Approach For Different Age Groups

As I have already mentioned, every child is different. As age will play a factor in how your child will process your separation, my approach will also change depending on their age. For younger children, the most important step will be to find the words that will help them express themselves. We already now know that this is not the easiest thing to do, which is why a safe and comfortable space is extremely crucial.

Naturally, once your child feels more relaxed, they will be more inclined to opening up about their emotions. I will also be trying to set positive targets for your child that they may accomplish. So, for example, if your child mentions that they don’t feel like speaking to you anymore after a divorce, a target may be to say a few words every day. From there we can work upwards towards together to help their healing.

For adolescent children, CBT takes a slightly different approach. While they may be more in tune with their feelings, the emotional changes that they feel after a separation can easily spiral out of control.

My target when dealing with adolescent children is to teach your teen a different way to respond to these emotions. So, for example, if your teen says that they are experiencing feelings of withdrawal after your divorce, then we may suggest healthy and positive activities that will help them feel more engaged.

There are many more layers to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and at Courageous Kids Counseling, New City, NY, we recognize that it will never be one-size-fits-all. The final goal is to help your child get better about themselves and the separation and we will take the steps necessary to achieve this.

If you would like to learn more about CBT and positive reinforcement, please leave a call, I have a wide range of experience in practicing this technique and will be delighted to answer any questions you may have.

What are the Benefits of Children’s Divorce Counseling

The benefits of children’s divorce counseling are widespread. You must note that your child will have nothing to lose about speaking about their feelings. Even if you do not notice any behavioral issues or challenges, then I still suggest that your child has at least one divorce counseling session. Some of the top benefits of children’s divorce counseling are:

Healthy Development For Your Child:

The early years of childhood are formative, and negative thoughts or feelings such as anxiety and anger can continue well into adulthood if they are not treated. Unfortunately, a separation can introduce many of these negative traits into children. As a parent, it is important to ensure that these traits are uprooted once they appear. 

While it is also likely that the divorce is going to be a difficult period for you, your child’s future must also remain important. By engaging in counseling sessions, your child and I will be able to work through these issues. This should help make them happier and also reduce any new stress or issues that they may be causing as a result of the divorce. 

Children Learn to Cope With Strong Feelings:

While the sessions that your child and I engage in will likely be focused around your separation, the skills that we learn won’t. The reinforcements and strategies that I provide them can be translated to other areas in life. For example, if they are faced with a hurtful experience later in life, they can use the skills that they have learned in our sessions to cope better. This means that by having these divorce counseling sessions, they will be placed in a sturdier position the next time that they are faced with strong emotions.  

It Teaches Them How to Deal With Others:

It is much easier to understand others when you understand yourself. My sessions will help your child become more in tune with their feelings, and understand the reasons for their negative behaviors. This will help them gain a stronger sense of empathy because when a friend or loved one shows a negative emotion after a strong experience, this will not feel strange to your child. 

Essentially, this means that you should expect your child to come out of our sessions feeling more loving and understanding. This can help them become a core part of their social groups and become a bedrock for friends and family. 

Children feeling better after being in therapy, new city, ny
Child talking to therapist, New City, NY

Dealing With Divorce as an Adult

While we have mainly focused on counseling for children, it may be the case that you have experienced the pain of watching your parents get separated as a child. If this is the case, and you never received treatment, then you may know first-hand the result of having such a wound fester. The likely result of this is that many of the emotions such as self-hate or a lack of trust have now morphed into something deeper, such as you feeling as though you are incapable of love. 

If this is the case, you must not shy away from these feelings. Few emotional scars can’t be treated and with the right amount of work and commitment, a great level of transformation can occur. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for adults involves acknowledging that you may have spent years living with negative behaviors, and despite recognizing this, you feel stuck. 

The treatment that I provide, will involve learning about these negative emotions or behaviors. During our time together, we will work to find positive ideas and goals to replace the negative ones. By applying these CBT techniques, you will find yourself finally moving away from the pain that may have been caused by a divorce. This should make it much easier to embrace new relationships and ideas.  

Begin Divorce Counseling Sessions With Courageous Kids, New City, NY

You must remember that the quicker counseling begins, the easier negative traits can be reconciled. The children’s divorce counseling sessions I offer at Courageous Kids, New City, NY, will help to build your child back up after your separation from wherever they have fallen off from.

I also understand that the role I play in this will only be part of the journey and will always encourage a healthy level of collaboration between both of us. By ensuring your child attends all divorce counseling sessions and practices the different skills that they learn during our time together, the quicker they can be healthy again.  

If you have noticed that your child has displayed any of the emotions mentioned, or have just recently had a divorce and would like to ensure that your child has taken it in, then please leave us a call. The goal of Courageous Kids, New City, NY, will always be to give your child the best care that they need and I am happy to answer any question you may have.

happy child riding his scooter in New City, New York