How to Help Your Child With Life Transitions

Big life changes and small daily transitions in childhood can be challenging. Whether your child is moving schools or getting ready for bed, learning how to cope with change is essential. Helpful tools, such as timers, fun distractions, consistent routines and professional support, can help your child adjust to transitions and develop positive lifelong skills.

Why Are Transitions Challenging for Children?

Children may find minor and significant transitions challenging for the following reasons:

Emotional dysregulation: Dysregulated emotions and fatigue can overwhelm children.
Low executive functioning skills: Children rely on executive functioning skills to shift focus, regulate emotions and control impulses simultaneously. Conditions such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism can lower a child’s executive functioning and time management skills, making it harder for them to shift their focus when necessary.
Sensory processing challenges: Children with sensory processing challenges may struggle with transitions because of the new sounds, smells, sights and textures a transition may involve. Tasks such as changing clothes, brushing teeth or walking into a classroom may feel overwhelming to them at first.
Developmental stages: Children at various developmental stages need help learning how to change tasks and cope with big transitions. If a child struggles with transitions, they may need extra support and guidance as they learn.
Anxiety surrounding the unknown: Anxiety is common when children face significant life changes.

How to Help a Child Who Struggles With Transitions

Consider the following tips to help your child cope with daily transitions:

Establish Routines

Building routines into daily transitions can help children find comfort in consistency and structure. You can help your child adjust to change with ease by developing consistent routines for them. For example, a bedtime routine may involve putting screens away, brushing teeth and reading a story. Morning transitions may involve getting dressed, eating breakfast and brushing teeth.

Preview Transitions

Explain transitions before they occur. Describing what the evening or the following day will look like can help ease a child’s mind, and you can provide timeframes so your child understands how long each task will take.

Use Visual Cues

Visual cues can help a child predict daily transitional tasks or understand the steps of a routine. While visual charts are most common in school settings, you can also use one at home featuring specific routines such as after-school responsibilities or bedtime tasks.

Implement Music

A special song is a fantastic way to motivate a child. Songs can make transitional tasks such as cleaning toys or taking a bath more fun, motivating children to complete them. You can designate one of your child’s favorite songs to a transition routine, or you can make up a silly song with them.

Practice Fun Distractions

Use fun activities to help your child enjoy transitions. For example, you can ask them to hop like a frog to the bathroom or blow bubbles on the way to the car. Maybe there’s a dance they can do while they brush their teeth or an interesting book you can read to them while they put their shoes on.

Let Your Child Carry a Transition Toy or Object

A special toy or object can comfort your child during transitions. Consider letting them carry a favorite toy, blanket or book with them. They might carry a stuffed animal along to school and let it wait for them in their cubby until the end of the day, or you can place a favorite bathtime toy on the sink while they brush their teeth.

Set Timers

Visual timers or countdowns are excellent tools to help children understand how much time they have to complete a transition. A sand timer or fun online countdown can help motivate a child and remind them that a task doesn’t last forever.

You can also give your child a number of turns with an activity before they need to transition. For example, they might read one more book before bed or go down the slide two more times before leaving the park.

Use Rewards and Consequences

Use rewards such as special snacks, stickers or a points system to motivate your child when they’re first learning a new routine. You can phase the rewards system out once your child starts to handle transitions well on their own.

It’s also important for children to experience appropriate consequences when they misbehave. For example, a child may lose certain game privileges or time for a particular hobby if they refuse to cooperate during a transition.

Celebrate Positive Transitions

Enthusiasm and praise help encourage positive behaviors. Let your child know when they do well handling a transition. Use specific praises like, “You did a fantastic job brushing your teeth, so now we have time to read a book before school.”

Invite Your Child to Collaborate

Encourage your child to brainstorm creative solutions with you. This gives them more control over their routine while you both work toward the same goal.

Be Patient

Change takes time, so be patient with your child and with yourself. The goal is to improve a little each day, so celebrate the wins and use setbacks as learning and growing opportunities. Taking breaks for calming breaths, hugs or time outside can help you and your child cope with challenging moments.

How to Help a Child Handle Big Transitions

Children also face big transitions, such as the transition from daycare to preschool, welcoming a new sibling or moving into a new home. If your child experiences transition anxiety before or during a big change, you can help them cope with the following tips:

Validate Feelings

Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings, letting them know they can talk to you. Remind them that their feelings are normal and that you experience similar emotions at times.

Gradually Introduce New Routines

Transitions, such as starting school, often involve new routines, and gradually introducing them can help your child adjust. For example, you might align your child’s lunch and snack schedule at home with the school’s schedule, or set aside a special reading time like they would have at school.

Involve Your Child in Preparations

Ask your child to help prepare for a new transition to help them get excited about it. They can help you decorate the nursery for a new sibling, pick out a backpack for school or help pack boxes for a new house. Think of fun tasks they can help with so they associate the new change with positive feelings. If your child feels nervous about a new school, plan a fun day with a friend who will be in their class.

Professional Guidance and Support for Children

Professional resources such as therapy services can help your child cope with big or small transitions. Kids are quick to learn and adapt, so childhood is an excellent time to seek help from a knowledgeable, compassionate professional.

Let Courageous Kids Counseling Help Your Child Cope With Challenging Transitions

Courageous Kids Counseling offers professional therapy services for children, teens and families. We strive to form close relationships with the families we support, making sure you can contact our team outside of therapy sessions anytime you need extra help.

From the first session, we work closely with your child to learn what works best for them and teach them how to face new situations with confidence. Our therapists specialize in anxiety and cognitive behavioral therapy, and we are passionate about helping kids cope with their most challenging transitions. Schedule an appointment or contact us to learn more about how we can help you and your child navigate the big and small transitions in their life.