What to Do When Your Teenager Refuses to Go to Therapy

Getting your teen to admit they need therapy isn’t always easy. At this stage of life, it’s common for your child to feel embarrassed or confused about their emotions. They may feel like therapy won’t work or hopeless that anyone can understand what they are going through. If you are a parent in this situation, it can be tricky knowing what to say or do — how do you help a child who doesn’t want help?

When your child refuses to talk to a therapist, you’ll want to lightly encourage them to seek help without being forceful. Whether they are depressed, anxious or struggling with something else, counseling can help them open up and cope better with whatever life throws their way.

How Do I Get My Child to See a Psychologist?

You might feel frustrated or even angry if your depressed teenager refuses help, but these feelings are natural. The challenges your teen faces affect you both. While your teen’s first reaction to their problems might be to avoid them, if you can provide the proper support and guidance, they might be more likely to go.

Here’s how to engage a resistant child in therapy so they can enter counseling with optimism.

1. Approach It Like a Team

When your teen is struggling with something, most parents’ first reaction is to go into problem-solving mode. You might focus on problems and potential solutions without acknowledging the love and care you have for your child. Many teens struggling with complex emotions or behaviors feel like a burden. They might feel like a problem child, afraid to attend therapy or reach out because they feel like a strain on the family.

If your teenager is feeling embarrassed about their feelings, they might be extra resistant to discussing therapy. Reminding them that you are a team and can approach the issue together can help them feel less ashamed or like the source of the problem. Let your teen know it’s not “your problem” but “our problem.” Show them that you care and that you are there for them every step of the way. That way, they feel less embarrassed and more motivated to seek help.

2. Use Gentle Motivation

If your teen says no to treatment, gently encourage them to open up to you and lend an ear without judgment. The more comfortable they are talking to you, the more likely they can go to you when they’re ready for help. It’s essential that you warm them up to the idea of seeing a therapist rather than being forceful.

A teen who enters therapy without wanting to go will feel less motivated to change and might see therapy as a punishment rather than a benefit. It will make it more challenging for your child to feel comfortable enough to pursue therapy in the future. Instead, you’ll want to frame the idea positively and offer your support, care and guidance every step of the way.

Let them know that you’re unsure how to help them with their problems, so it might be more helpful to talk to someone with professional experience with teens. That way, they might warm up to the idea of attending therapy independently.

3. Describe the Benefits of Therapy

If your teenager refuses to go to counseling, discussing all the real ways therapy might benefit their life can be helpful. Clear up any misconceptions your teen may have about therapy and discuss the advantages it can provide for them. If you have experience with counseling, you might share that experience with your teen to normalize and remove the stigma.

Not everyone who enters counseling is unwell. Many people go to therapy to understand themselves better and learn healthy coping skills to manage stress and daily tasks more easily.

Perhaps your teen is struggling with making friends or focusing on homework. Maybe they’ve recently lost a dear pet and need help establishing coping mechanisms. Instead of making therapy sound like a punishment, let your teen know how it can help them. Mental health professionals will provide strategies they need to deal with life’s challenges, no matter their current well-being.

4. Offer Treatment Choices

The rapport between your therapist and teen is essential. If your depressed teenager refuses help, encourage them to take an active role in finding a therapist that’s right for them. It’s crucial that your teen feels more engaged and in control of their treatment process. They have to be comfortable talking and trusting the therapist.

You might meet with the therapist first and learn how they engage a resistant adolescent in therapy. Another option is to let your teen interview the therapist beforehand, so they feel a sense of control. If you provide them with more treatment choices, they may feel more likely to engage in treatment.

And if you succeed in getting your teen to attend therapy, encourage them to try out a few sessions before they decide whether they want to continue.

5. Consider Virtual Therapy

If your teenager refuses to go to therapy, it might be because they don’t feel comfortable talking to someone face-to-face. They might be shy or feel embarrassed about their struggles. In either case, virtual counseling can be an excellent option, where your teen can gain care and professional support from the comfort of their home.

During online sessions, they can choose a safe, comfy spot in the house or cuddle up with a furry friend. This treatment option might help them lower their guard and feel more comfortable opening up in therapy.

5. Seek Counseling on Your Own

If your teenager refuses to go to counseling, you might seek therapy on your own. Parent training can be an effective way to help your child, as a therapist might be able to help you coach your child. Further, if your child knows you’re attending counseling to discuss you, they might be interested in sharing their side of the story with a therapist.

Therapists can equip you with the tools you need to support your child, whether they actually go to therapy or not. The culture you create at home will significantly influence your child’s life. As a result, taking the time to learn more about mental health and care for yourself might motivate your teen to make a change.

Consider Courageous Kids Counseling

Teenagers can be tough to understand and motivate to attend therapy, but that’s because they are going through complex changes and transitions. As their parent, it’s essential to provide guidance and support if your child refuses to talk to a therapist. At Courageous Kids Counseling, we can provide your teen the opportunity to open up and share their thoughts and feelings in a compassionate setting.

Whether they are experiencing depression, anxiety or another situation, therapy can help them understand their challenges and give them hope for the future. If you’re looking for an effective way to support your teenager, contact us to learn more about our teen counseling services.