Shyness, Social Anxiety or Selective Mutism: Which Is It?

Maybe your kindergartener talks to you but not to anyone outside of the family. Perhaps your middle schooler resorts to mumbling or responding only with hand gestures in social situations. In other kids, these might be ordinary reactions.

However, your child speaks openly at home. Could their public responses be a response to shyness or maybe a side effect of emerging social anxiety? Or could they have a different, albeit related, condition called selective mutism?

What Are Some Hallmark Signs and Symptoms of Selective Mutism?

Selective mutism anxiety disorder causes someone to freeze up in social situations. It’s usually noticeable in kids when they start attending school.

It’s important to know that the signs and symptoms of selective mutism may mirror those of shyness and social anxiety, but selective mutism is its own diagnosis.

Some of the indicators of potential selective mutism anxiety disorder include:

• Not verbalizing thoughts or feelings in social situations but speaking clearly and freely in familiar, comfortable settings.
• Gesturing or using other nonverbal cues to respond when asked questions.
• Talking only in whispers, mumbled sentences, monosyllabic words or low tones when speaking socially.
• Not interacting with people during social interactions and instead looking away, looking down or seeming completely distant and aloof.

These and related signs and symptoms of selective mutism can be frustrating for parents. Children with selective mutism are not intentionally misbehaving, acting defiantly or ignoring others, though. They are reacting to outside stimuli in a manner that feels the most comfortable and protective.

Is Selective Mutism Just Social Anxiety?

Although selective mutism may carry many of the same hallmarks as social anxiety, it’s a unique diagnosis. That said, it may be an extension of social anxiety in some people. Alternatively, it may co-occur with social anxiety and other mental health diagnoses.

There are a few distinctions between selective mutism vs. social anxiety:

• Social anxiety may produce fear, but rarely the inability to speak, whereas someone with selective mutism may exhibit fear as well as be unable to vocalize their thoughts.
• People with social anxiety worry about being judged. While people with selective mutism may have the same fear, they still don’t speak. Their mutism overrides worries they may have about what others think about them.
• Those with social anxiety may become angry or irritable in social situations. Those with selective mutism may fidget, but they are less apt to act out.

These are nuanced differences, and both selective mutism and social anxiety share underlying anxiety roots. That’s one of the reasons to take your child to a professional who can make a diagnosis based on your child’s symptoms.

Treatment Options for Children With Selective Mutism Anxiety Disorder

What happens if your child is diagnosed with selective mutism? A professional therapist may rely on one or more therapies that can help. However, it is essential to remember that the overall objective isn’t to figure out how to get a child with selective mutism to talk in public. The objective is to introduce the child and family to practices aimed at managing and controlling the condition.

A few child-focused therapies that are used to treat selective mutism anxiety disorder include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy is used to retrain the brain to replace negative thoughts with positive alternatives.
• Biofeedback: The goal of biofeedback is to help the body and brain enter states of relaxation to overcome the intensity of anxiety.
• Play therapy: Children’s play therapy enables kids to work through their emotional experiences and worries by incorporating storytelling elements into their sessions.

Life for a Child After a Selective Mutism Diagnosis and Therapy

Many children who receive a selective mutism diagnosis will thrive with proper anxiety treatment for kids. Some may even outgrow their conditions, especially when they undergo positive interventions and treatments early in their lives. Others learn methods to remain calm in anxiety-producing environments, allowing them to find and use their voices. Either way, a child’s quality of life can be high and fulfilling after being introduced to advanced, proven therapies.

Let Courageous Kids Counseling Help

If you believe your child may have selective mutism or another condition, Courageous Kids Counseling is ready to empower your child. Our team of compassionate kids’ therapists will work with your whole family to give you all the skills, confidence and resources to support one another. Contact our office in NY for a consultation and help your child find joy again.