Therapy for Teens

You might try so hard to talk to your teen when they are struggling, and maybe you don’t even know why they are struggling. Teens’ minds are like vaults. They close themselves off from the possibility that other people understand what they are going through.

The pain of feeling alone and lost can make them defensive and guarded. Your teenager is at a point in their development when, not only do they need to endure puberty, but they are trying to become independent and successful.

There’s a lot of pressure to fit in and figure things out on their own. They often seek out peers to help solve their problems but don’t always get the best advice. And in the age of social media and “instant gratification,” adolescents frequently get mixed signals and act rashly based on what they read or hear instead of coming to adults, such as their parents, to figure out how to handle dilemmas.

Their problems can escalate and trigger a cascade of new issues. You’re just not looped in on what’s going on internally with your teenager. It’s not as if you are saying the wrong thing — it’s just that your teen is at a different place in their emotional tolerance. Don’t despair — keep talking and let them know things are not so dismal. Give them suggestions and show them they have options.

Your opinions as a parent matter more than you might think. Whether they realize it or not, adolescents crave their parents’ support and need their attention just as much as when they were younger. Don’t give up on them. Now is when they need you most.

It can be challenging to know when to seek teen counseling, but generally, the sooner your child gets help, the sooner they can start feeling better.

The breaking point is usually the same. Your teen is trying to work through strong feelings. Although they can reflect, they cannot see a positive outcome in their future and they cannot manage their daily lives as well. When they avoid pleasurable activities or stop talking to family or friends, it’s time to open the doors for them.

If your child experiences the following depressive symptoms, it may be time to seek teen therapy services:

• Feeling sad, hopeless or worthless
• Having low self-esteem
• Losing interest in things they used to enjoy
• Isolating and withdrawing from friends and family
• Having trouble in school, declining grades
• Having low or no energy
• Changes in weight
• Feeling angry or irritable, even at minor things
• Changes in sleep

It’s essential to seek professional help right away if your teen exhibits severe signs of depression:

• Making critical self-judgments
• Experiencing conflicts at home or at school
• Having a hard time managing intense moods
• Feeling empty or numb
• Engaging in risky or destructive behaviors
• Engaging in self-harm behaviors
• Having suicidal thoughts

External stressors or intense situations are often the primary reasons teens enter therapy. These situations can bring on feelings of insurmountable anxiety or depression in your teen that can be challenging to face on their own.

Maybe your teen is going through their first break-up and is flooded with feelings of misery that seem everlasting. Or your teen refuses to go back to school after being out for an extended period, worried about what their peers may think of them or how they may acclimate. Possibly they may move to a new home and struggle to assimilate.

While the exact cause of teen depression is unknown, experts believe it could be a combination of genetics, hormones, brain chemistry and trauma:

• Brain chemistry: Researchers believe impaired or abnormal neurotransmitters in the brain can lead to depression.
• Hormones: Changes in the body’s balance of hormones, especially as teens go through puberty, can trigger depression.
• Inherited traits: If you have a close relative with depression, you have a higher chance of developing the condition yourself.
• Early childhood trauma: Trauma in early childhood, such as emotional or physical abuse, can trigger changes in the brain that increase a teen’s risk of depression.

Other risk factors for teen depression and anxiety include:

• Having other mental health conditions, like bipolar disorder, anorexia or a personality disorder.
• Having ongoing pain or a chronic physical illness such as cancer, diabetes or asthma.
• Having issues that impact self-esteem, such as long-term bullying or obesity.
• Having certain personality traits, such as low self-esteem or being self-critical.
• Having a learning disability or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
• Being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in an unsupportive environment.

If you see signs of mental health problems in your teenager and these issues interfere with their daily life, it’s time to talk to a professional teen counselor.

It takes patience and compassion to help teens. Therapy for teenagers can help.

At Courageous Kids Counseling, we use CBT, EMDR, DBT, biofeedback and other solution-focused approaches to help your teen feel better.

Your child can appreciate the following benefits of teen therapy services:

• Understand the root causes of their feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
• Gain the tools to make changes that help them feel and function better.
• Feel empowered to use what they learn to solve any issues they face.

Attending counseling sessions can also help improve your teen’s overall mood and self-esteem. Through therapy, teens establish and strengthen vital skills like:

• Assertiveness
• Empathy
• Effective communication
• Self-awareness
• Emotion regulation

Peter*, a 16-year-old teen, reluctantly followed his mom into my office. He sat down and repeatedly shrugged when I introduced myself and asked him what brought him in to see me. When his mother explained the situation during his silence, he looked at her with disdain. It was evident that he was not a willing participant.

After getting more information about his school suspension, I asked his mom to give us some time to talk alone. I told him that a lot of teens feel annoyed coming to see me, and it was nothing personal. I asked him if he knew why he was there, not expecting him to have an answer. I talked about myself and shared some humorous anecdotes, trying to make him feel at ease.

I then said that he did not have to talk about himself, but if he didn’t mind sharing a bit, it would be preferable to silence. That got him to smile slightly. I took this as a cue that I could ask him a question.

Starting with school, I asked general questions about friends and his favorite classes. We also talked a bit about his home life, including his relationship with his parents. Slowly, as he let down his guard, I was able to approach the issue of being suspended. Peter mentioned he had a fight with another student. I asked him a little more about the situation, and I discovered he fought because he was offended by the other student’s comment and did not like being humiliated.

While I let him do a lot of the talking, I tried to ask general questions about his feelings toward other students. I discovered, through listening to him speak, that he felt very insecure about how others saw him. This was something that I filed away to explore in the future.

Throughout our next sessions together, we worked on analyzing situations about which he felt comfortable and confident, and then ones that made him feel vulnerable and small. We kept a list of some themes that came out of our conversations. As he became more aware and less defensive, he agreed that some of these were things he wanted to change.

By allowing him to take the lead and formulating an understanding of patterns, we moved closer to the next steps of how to handle conflicts. Eventually, we figured out some ways he could better manage anger and even identified some practice situations.

We also shared this with his mother when he was ready. It seemed as if his confidence grew when he did not feel villainized; but, instead, he was able to say what he wanted to do differently.

Celebrating wins with teenagers can be challenging because they are not always obvious. Sometimes your teen may even doubt that they will have similar success in the future. But it’s important to congratulate them and have their parents share in their success, so they know they are not on a solitary journey.

*Name changed to preserve client confidentiality.

The following are some of the most commonly asked questions we receive about therapy for teenagers:

Teens are on a tumultuous journey toward finding themselves, and it’s only natural that they might need some support along the way. They’ll deal with problems that affect how they feel, act and learn. It can help to remind your teen of all the ways they can feel better by speaking to a professional. Going to therapy will help them cope and communicate more effectively. It can help to remind them of these benefits so they feel empowered to help themselves in therapy.

If you reach the point where you might think your teen needs therapy, rest assured you’re not overreacting. Do not fear you will isolate them or turn them off from talking to you because they are already at their lowest point. You can get back your relationship with your teen.

In therapy, your teen will learn by doing. The process includes:

• Talk: Your teen will talk through feelings so we can learn more about them and their specific goals.
• Activities: We use activities to teach your teen about their feelings and coping skills. For instance, we might teach mindfulness as a healthy way to calm down and cope with stress.
• Practice skills and solve problems: Therapy also helps build healthy thinking patterns and behavioral habits. Your teen will learn how to solve problems as we discuss them in therapy and help them apply them at school or home.
• Praise and support: Therapists give praise and support as teens learn. The goal is to help them feel empowered and confident as they recognize their strengths.

We can also meet with parents to give tips and ideas for ways to help their teens at home.

It makes sense that you would want to be involved in your teen’s therapy sessions. In many instances, collaboration with your teen’s therapist is beneficial. But you will want to do it carefully to protect your teen’s confidentiality and the therapeutic relationship.

While you may have the desire to communicate your concerns and “check-in,” it’s also important for your teen to be able to trust their counselor and feel that their privacy is valued. Including your teenager in the conversation is a good way to communicate what you notice without “going behind their back.”

It also lets your teen know about your concerns so there are no surprises. Be prepared for your teen to have a different point of view which you can discuss altogether in counseling.

Developing an alliance with your teen is important so they feel protected and supported. We value your support in helping your teen heal.

We are trained and experienced to help with various problems teens encounter. For instance, we can help teens through tough issues like school, family, bullying and health issues. In addition, we can help teens struggling with feelings like:

• Sadness
• Anger
• Stress and worry
• Low self-esteem
• Grief

Therapists also have the training and experience to help teens with mental health conditions like:

• ADHD
• Depression
• Anxiety and OCD
• Eating disorders
• Trauma-related disorders
• Self-injury

The length of therapy will depend on your teen’s needs and the therapist’s discretion. The frequency of meetings can also vary depending on the counselor’s availability and the teen’s goals.

Absolutely not. Your teen is still growing and developing, mentally, physically, and emotionally. While they may be experiencing ups and downs as a result, this is an opportunity for self-exploration and transformation. Sometimes teens can feel stuck or self-conscious.

Through teen counseling, they can look at situations with new perspectives so they can act and think differently. Getting support for your troubled teen when they first start having difficulties is usually far more successful than waiting until problems get worse.

Taking the steps to help your teen will have a positive ripple effect so they can cope with new situations and feel better about the future.

Depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions are common among young adults, but they are also highly treatable. A licensed teen therapist can help your child to flourish by helping them improve communication and problem-solving skills, emotional regulation and other vital life skills.

Courageous Kids Counseling specializes in teen counseling in New York. Our goal is to help your teen as they navigate life and its many changes at this stage. We treat anxiety, depression, trauma and other difficulties so they can feel empowered to live a happier, healthier life. You got through this, and your adolescent will, too.

We invite you to book a free 15-minute consultation or fill out our contact form for any questions.